23 Oct Lonely spouse
Loneliness in marriage.
Loneliness Is a state of abandonment or a state of neglect, whereby an individual has to be ignored. The state at which thoughts or matters bugging ones’ mind cannot be shared with someone else.
It’s possible no one is available to share it with, or the one available is not available by attention but only present.
A lonely spouse is like a bottled gas positioned very close to a fire. It can explode at anytime, whosoever that comes in contact may not survive the consequence.
For every marriage to record success, it’s not by the effort of a spouse, it is a collective responsibility of the couple.
Loneliness is a spirit, a thief that steals the joy of a family. When it comes to people’s lives, it has nothing good to offer.
No wonder the Bible says “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy”.
The fact remains that loneliness has a principle, it does not attack a mind that is kept save. It’s only after those that are carelessly left open, to steal their joy.
When it steals the attention of a husband from his wife and the attention of the wife from her husband, it goes the extra mile to tell him or her to go and commit suicide.
It has nothing good to offer as a benefit. When it finishes locking the heart of a husband against his wife and do away with the key, it will make the wife to start knocking hard on the door, just to break the family.
Never bow to loneliness. You just need to fight it and not your spouse.
By the way! Who is a lonely spouse?
A lonely spouse is a husband or a wife who is in a low state of mind, may be for the reason of neglect or abandonment from the other party or a loved one.
Someone who derives no joy in associating with people, someone who suffers rejection in his or her matrimony. No one is willing to give him or her a desired attention.
Being alone and lonely.
Being lonely is different from bueing alone, people often mix them together. Being lonely is an issue on its own that damages emotions and self-esteem, while being alone is a deliberate decision that probably occurred for a short time to achieve a purpose.
One may separate himself for the purpose of seeking the face of God for something important.
A student can choose to be alone for a period of time to allow him to catch up with an aspect of his studies that is likely difficulty for him to grab. It would be for a little time, to enable him become what he aspires to be in his chosen carrier.
It becomes something else when being alone start to become a lifestyle; Loneliness is at the door.
The problem here is that he may not be the one who will directly feel the heat. It is the other party or the people around him or her that will suffer it. He would start to withdraw his attention from being accessible to the spouse and other people around him.
The reflection of that will largely have an effect on the other party.
Signs of loneliness.
1) Depression
2) Anxiety
3) Low Self esteem
4) Care free attitude
5) Lost of interest
6) Lost of appetite
7) Being together but not connected.
Causes of loneliness.
1) Sexual denial
2) Lack of attention
3) Lack of money
4) Lack of love for the spouse.
5) A marriage of circumstances.
6) Spouse absence.
7) Lack of communication.
8) When a third party is in the picture.
9) Introvert nature.
10) More and better affection for work, the children, and sports than for the spouse,
11) Adjustment procrastination.
12) Distance marriage.
13) Unrealistic beliefs and expectations about marriage (marriage gives everything)
14) Leaving but not cleaving.
15) Boss and servant lifestyle in marriage.
16) Lack of unity (act as an entity) all man for himself
17) Frustration in business, while other party show no concern.
18) Focussing on the weakness than the strength.
19) Selfishness (am the only one who needs care)
20) Separate room.
21) Same bed but different space.
22) Hostile relationship.
23) Argument instead of discussion
24) Bullying and terrify
25) Failure to remember important dates.
26) Zero family hangout.
27) Incompatibility.
Demerit of loneliness.
1) Division in the family
2) Can cause sudden death
3) Unexpected sickness
4) Extramarital affairs
5) Lack of trust
6) It demoralizing
7) Night crawling.
Remedy to loneliness.
1) Call on God.
2) Never expect overnight change
3) Communication.
4) Forgiveness, forgive him or her first
5) Pray that God should touch him or her, and make him to be hungry for you.
6) Do what he or she likes but not contrary to God’s will.
7) His or her favourite meal.
8) Gifts like perfume etc.
9) Consider his or her point of view.
10) If not change, you need to book a time with a marriage counsellor.
Conclusion
Feel the pause of your spouse. Irrespective of the challenge, never shut him or her out of your reach. Be a good companion, and pray together. You will overcome.
No Comments