08 May 3 intimate friends, but enemies of marriage
ENEMIES OF MARRIAGE.
1. Argument.
2. Anger.
3. Nagging.
Argument
Argument is simply the act of individuals among two or more people defending his position in a conversation to prove his point more superior to others, no matter how inferior or selfish it may be. Which always resulted in no conclusion. There by bringing discord to the floor on many occasions.
Though, arguments can be positive or negative. At the initial stage of discussion, usually, no argument comes either in negative or positive form. It always comes plain and natural. It’s when a party holds on to his or her point, and refuses to shift ground; based on his best of knowledge about the point, and the other person is not ready to align to his or her opinion that matters begin to escalate to negative side.
From the plain level of argument, it is possible for two or more people to align on a matter by reasonably seeing good points from the position of the other party that can be adopted as it consists of valuables.
Argument in marriage.
Argument in marriage is a conversation between a husband and wife where everyone focuses on defending his or her own points over the other.
Arguments in marriage require wisdom and maturity. It is not all arguments that bring good results. Arguments will get to a point in marriage and begin to generate heat that can lead to a serious misunderstanding and quarrel.
There is a level an argument will get to that wisdom is required. It’s the mature one (emotionally, psychologically, in knowledge, and not about age) that can easily sense that they are already at a negative boundary and quickly make a “U” turn for the benefit of the marriage. Argument is an enemy of marriage. When it begins to generate heat, it does not work alone. It works with anger and nagging.
Anger in marriage.
Anger is a strong negative emotion or feeling generated from any unpleasant occurrence, towards anything or a fellow human being, which usually follows argument.
When argument is at its peak, anger always snicks into any of the parties and keeps the matter escalated to unimaginable, as you may have witnessed or seen either physically or in movies.
On many occasions, argument and anger have brought about the end of some marriages sooner than expected. Just because many couples lack the full understanding of how these two component friends but enemies of marriage work to destroy homes.
We would be doing ourselves and our children good if we can always watch out to avoid these elements whenever they surface.
If you must argue, please, do not argue to win. Always give room for “May be”.
When argument keeps on among a couple involved, gradually anger finds its way into any of the parties where there is a space, and keep the matter escalated to something else.
Usually when it occurs in marriage, the next is anger, and that usually comes from the husband. This is as a result of the ego in man generally.
When there is a misunderstanding between a couple, it is not yet a problem, it is just the case of “I don’t get what you are saying, please make it clear to me”. Issues always find their way in, when the misunderstanding prolongs and turns to argument. From that point, anger always takes over.
When a couple is caught in a web of argument, they will need to be conscious of the role of the devil in a time like that.
The Bible says in John 10:10
The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give life in all its fullness.
Start. NLT
The role or purpose of the devil is to kill the marriage, destroy the existence, and steal the treasures therein.
God’s wisdom is to save the marriage, give it a life full of joy.
Why will a mater be allowed to degenerate into anger?
It turns out to be so when either of the parties cannot let go of a matter, especially the wife.
Women! Please don’t get involved in any argumentative discussion with your husband that will lead to uncontrollable anger that may eventually destroy your home.
You can do this by not going into the argument with the thought that you must win.
The moment you sense a tensed atmosphere, drop the topic with respect.
Treat your husband as your head (he may be wrong, your meekness can make him to bow).
If anyone ask you to do anything contrary, and that you should not take nonsense from anybody, please step back and pull out.
When the man shall give you a yellow 💳 card, that same person who pushed you not to take nonsense, will not allow you a space to sleep for one night in her place.
she may not have any help to render, and if there will be any, may be to introduce you to another man that will destroy your life.
Imagine you losing your home completely, don’t think she will not be willing to take over your space if she’s still single.
At the point where the man is still angry, there can still be an amendment to bring the issue to a rest. Explore every means of peace. It may sound foolish today, but tomorrow, you will become a public speaker that saves life and from your wealth of experience.
Anger in matrimonies, a big issue.
The bible says, anger rest in the bosom of a fool.
Ecclesiastes 7:9 Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.
If you don’t want to be a fool, control your anger. It can you a life damage that you will never forget, which may make you not to forgive yourself. Anger management helps in solving anger problems in marriage.
When one is wrapped in the spirit of anger, every little thing triggers his anger. Patience is the secret of those who manage them.
Don’t be foolish!
Your marriage is an entity that deserves to be loved. If you love your marriage, you wouldn’t give yourself to an argument that will hurt the marriage. He or she who declined his or her involvement in an argument is wise; he also became a master to the one who refused to bend.
What you gain when you drop argument to embrace dialogue is more compared with keeping to the argument.
Nagging.
Nagging is an attitude. It’s a way of being rude, impolite, repetitive in one’s opinion to force the other person to bow to the opinion.
Nag is an enemy of marriage. When it begins, it frustrates a good plan and agenda for a home. It’s like witchcraft, it produces confusion, and it destabilizes stability. It triggers anger.
conclusion
Among the three evil agents, argument is the forerunner, followed by anger, and the last is nagging.
To destroy any matrimony, devil sends an argument, which he monitors closely to ensure it graduates to the next level. That is anger. At this point, you will see a couple getting angry, a party threatening to bring heavens down. He or she wouldn’t care if it would fall on both of them, including the children.
When the devil sees that nothing is done yet, he would invite in nagging. It is this nag that will go back and trigger anger to bring every proposed negativity to implementation. Among is matrimonial violence and abuse. They beat even the one they loved. They force themselves on their women, which can be termed as nothing but a rape.
It is nothing but a crime to rape. If the woman reports the matter appropriately, it would land the man in jail. Landing the man in jail is not the point here.
The point is, the agenda of the devil for that family has gradually beginning to manifest. Attack against the head is an attack against the whole body. The children will be affected. The family will no longer be together.
Control your argument, your
anger, and your nag before it controls you.
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