16 Apr Expensive Wedding.
Neither does moderate wedding ma marriage.
It only makes a better end.
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Philippians 4:5
Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand.
Many still have not learned their lessons. This excessive wedding syndrome is killing.
Where you see some people laughing on their wedding day, but crying behind closed doors because their savings are gone.
Debts to pay in the case of others. If you look at them, they don’t have a single investment that can replenish them after the excessiveness.
Marriage is not to impress anybody, but to fulfil a purpose in life. Whatever you want to become in life can be achieved based on how you positioned your marriage. In other words, good marriage is the foundation to every lasting success in life.
As one works hard with enthusiasm to climb the ladder of success with optimistic force to win, his or her marriage may be an issue dragging from behind. That alone, is enough distraction to cause him or her to fail or fall.
Don’t be carried away by the lives of some who are making it in Whatever they do now, but are not in a marriage placed on a solid foundation. They can appear like someone who is happy but the challenge they face is nothing to desire.
Those who went through it but still forge ahead usually have one or two things in life that give them concern which they could have achieved but impossible. They suffered setback in their marriages because of ignorance.
If the hand of time can be adjusted back, they would have love to save their money, time, and head to enable a better achievement.
Foundation in everything plays a major role, it always determines what the end would be. Psalms 11:3
If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do?
Future Value.
There is nothing one can do to convince a fool, but a little word is enough for the wise.
Anyone who has made a covenant with poverty, it does not matter if he had encounter with success or riches, he would squander the opportunity and go back to a story level, which is square one. He would start saying “when he was in money”. Who pushed him out of money?
Invest first
What’s a man thinking while planning for his marriage, what is a woman also thinking while planning for marriage?
The bible says in Proverbs 23:7a
For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he:
While some people are planning for the wedding, they are also planning for the future. In other words, while preparing, whatever that finds its way into the planning agenda for the wedding tthat cannot help hut only to mortgage their future will never be allowed to stay.
Some people are poor but rich the way they celebrate wedding, all earnings go into one day ceremony and left the one of entire life not catered for. Marriage is bigger than the wedding. Wedding is for a day, while marriage is ’till death do the couple part’. Wedding time is a process that lays the bed or foundation on which marriage will be placed to run.
Many couples totoday never wish to remember their wedding days, because of what the event of the day plug them into. The question here is, is it the fault of the day, or the fault of the man and the woman of the day?
Friends and family were the forces that do help the couples to elaborate the wedding event, the couples also followed suit.
Anyone can advise you, it is not a crime, but where you cannot think for yourself and do away with advices that can mortgage your future and that of your unborn children, something is wrong.
You don’t need to become a family man or woman before you can become wealthy. It is about mentality, investment and the information you have about money making. It is wise to save big for investment and spend less on your wedding in order to raise a wonderful family.
Societal wedding.
Societal wedding is like a blood sucking lice that shows no mercy when it comes to maximizing opportunities against a victim. When societal wedding gets hold of you and your finances, it leaves nothing for you to learn on.
The little amount with you now is enough for your wedding to hold. It depends on how you allocate the money.
Beware of the agents of societal wedding. They will tell you what to do, but they have nothing to contribute to assist you with as it concerns the expenses.
They will help you to draw the map of the ceremony better and elaborate, not minding where money will come from. Anyhow you are going to get money is your business, all they care about is, your wedding must be a befitting one. Otherwise, they see it as disgrace for you to organize and do a low-key wedding. It doesn’t matter, if after the wedding the couple cannot feed. What matters is heaven and heath must hear.
Societal wedding is not evil if you have surplus to take whatever you need from. It becomes evil if you have little or nothing and you are planning an elaborate wedding. It would drain you and still plug you into debt and poverty.
It’s not a curse!
Case study 1.
Sororo was a young guy of age 19 when he started a business which was not known to his parents until after one year. Way back in school days, he had two different bank accounts. One which is known to his parents because of inflow of pocket money from his parents. The other one is his personal account with no knowledge of any third party including his parents, where he keeps 60% of his pocket money as savings.
What a wonderful boy? Before he left the school, he was involved in two little legitimate different businesses which time will not permit us to go into for now. He had the money, and engaged the service of a skill person who had no financial mussel but had the skill to manage the business for him, while they shared the profit 70% /30%. Before he graduated from the school, he already had a business proposal which he had to research into properly where he was going to invest his capital.
As soon as he finished, he started to implement the proposal at a micro level to avoid losing his capital to trial and error. The business kept growing. It became a project where he put every money that came his way. His parents got to know about this after one year, they were happy for him.
The time came for him to get married, he embarked on the marital process with his wife to-be. Planning begins, as a wise and business conscious person he was, he objected to some input of advice from his wife to-be which would amount to extravagant spending, and it can wreck his business and push the family into a regrettable state in the future. He pushed for a moderate wedding, which the woman finally agreed to.
Though, it took him several efforts to convince her.
They had a successful wedding. Their marriage manifested to be a product of excellence. They were able to keep the business running not in the case of some who would close up business after the wedding; when people ask why, “ the answer is I just got married” meaning ‘all the money has gone into the wedding’ as if wedding is a curse.
Wedding supposed to be a blessing and not a curse.
Case study 2.
Joseph married to Kebbyna 5 years after he graduated from University, making it 4 years after he secured a job. While they were preparing for the wedding, so many responsibilities surfaced that require their attention financially concerning the wedding. These responsibilities are only necessary, but not compulsory. They were necessary because they created room for it to be necessary.
For example, they increase the numbers of invitations from moderate to extra large. Which surpassed the strength of the couple to-be financially, but because the friends of the lady advised her to make it a society noticed wedding, she pushed it to her gentle husband to-be as a must-do project. That was where the money he saved for years went into. Shortly after the wedding day, reality surfaced, feeding became an issue.
Those friends who advised them to bite more than they can shew are nowhere to be found. When the trouble becomes unbearable. To make matter worse, he was sacked from work. Part of the savings he could have leveraged on to survive pending he gets another job was gone because he could not say no when he was supposed to say no and reasonably stand by his decision to be the final.
Lessons
- No one will remain to share from the pains when the table turned against you. The case study 1 did better by standing as a man to avoid the embarrassment the advice of the third party can plug them into in the marriage.
- The man in the case study 2 was gentle enough to allow tthird-party’s advice prevail in their affairs, which cost them a bitter experience in the marriage.
In this kind of situation, women suffer most. I therefore advise that women should think about what happens in marriage more than the wedding, and push that more finance should be allocated to the marriage than the wedding. The future of the children and the family is very important.
My Candid Advice
My advice to every single out there today, is that they should please sew their suit according to the size of their available fabric. Don’t copy anyone, if today is not as you think, push for tomorrow it would surely favour you.
I have never seen any contest that is based on how influential, expensive, or news breaking a wedding was. It is the success of every marriage that people celebrate.
Ecclesiastes 7:8
Better is the end of a thing than the beginning thereof: and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit.
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